Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Ramamritham infiltrates Al Qaeda

I think we have found the way to destroy Al Qaeda, or for that matter, any terrorist organisation. Don't send the Navy Seals or the National Security Guard or Special Forces. Send in Ramamritham instead !

This post has no place in what is ostensibly a business blog, but this writer could not miss the opportunity to ridicule Ramamritham anywhere and everywhere. So , with apologies , here's the story.

When the French forces recently retook much of Mali from terrorists, the press who followed them found a detailed letter and a number of documents in a building which was a base or Al Qaeda. The letter was to a thug and hoodlum called Moktar Belmoktar. It throws light on how Ramamritham has wormed his way even into Al Qaeda.

The letter was a "warning letter" to the said terrorist castigating him for not filing expense statements !!! It also was expressing displeasure at his skipping meetings which he was to attend !! He was also castigated for pricing below Head Office instructions - apparently for release of a kidnap victim he agreed to a price of 700,000 Euros when the going rate was  3 million. He was also censured for making a "business trip" to Libya without having taken approval in advance.

Moktar was also revealed to have complained that he was not being promoted and that somebody less qualified was instead given the job. He sulked for a while , refused to take phone calls and complained in his PDP ! Still not being promoted, he then quit and started his own rival murderous gang.

If Al Qaeda monsters have to file expense statements and take prior permission for foreign travel, we have nothing more to fear from them. They are doomed.

I shall make a few more suggestions to Ramamritham to further help him in his noble quest

  • Impose a detailed dress code on terrorists. They have to wear a tie between Monday and Thursday. Friday, they have to wear  T shirts to show that they are cool
  • Instruct them that not displaying their ID card while carrying out a terrorist attack is an offence and if found so, they will be sent back home
  • Display the pick up and drop schedule every day. Moktar has to catch Innova No S-47D. He will be dropped only at end of his road and not in front of his home
  • He can browse his personal email only between 12.41 and 13.04 every day . Facebook, Twitter, etc are banned. All Jihadist sites of Al Qaeda are open, but rival sites are banned
  • Moktar has not filled last month's self appraisal form, demonstrating that he has adhered to the values of Al Qaeda (with examples). Therefore he may be asked to report to the HR manager for a dressing down.

All hail Ramamritham, for helping defang Al Qaeda.